


Beautiful Mess

by MrChorizo



Category: Eurovision Song Contest RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 08:23:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10940649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrChorizo/pseuds/MrChorizo
Summary: One year after the coyly spelled motto Come Together had signified the birth of a new Eurovision tradition, it was Timur’s duty and pleasure to host the second annual Eurovision Bukkake Contest. Twelve of his favorite Eurovision artists and Manel are invited to celebrate diversity of size and shape in Kyiv.





	Beautiful Mess

As stipulated by the rules of the contest, Timur had internally selected the participants who would vie to win the prestigious Glass Fleshlight in Kyiv. The contestant able to cum most often on the lucky guy in the center would win the trophy.

Only in its second year, the contest had already been hit by a major scandal. The scandal had erupted, when Sergey Lazarev had insisted on participating as well. Timur had done his best to explain that only current Eurovision participants were allowed to compete but Sergey kept insisting that having won the televote last year meant he deserved to take the place of honor in the center.

“How often do I need to tell you? There is no such rule. You cannot just take what belongs to someone else just because you want to have it too!” Timur sighed. “Please respect the rules of the contest instead of making drama,” he pleaded in Russian as politely as possible.

When Sergey kept complaining and referred to the contest as a party for everybody, Timur hung up the phone. There was no point in continuing this conversation. Sergey was completely unwilling to accept that the guys wouldn’t cum on him this year. Sergey’s sense of entitlement was unbearable.

Timur returned to the arena where the guys were about to decide who would have the privilege to take the position so much desired by Sergey Lazarev. “I know you are all really eager to win this, maybe even more so than to win the Glass Fleshlight. Don’t forget, you can win both, the place of honor and the Glass Fleshlight, because the guy in the center is allowed to compete as well by cumming on himself. The winner of the place of honor will be the guy with the most impressive endowment.” Timur explained in English before repeating the rules in French, a language none of the guys including Timur could understand.

“It’s cool that you make a few announcements in Ukrainian but could you please repeat that in English,” Jowst requested.

“But I just explained everything in both English and French,” Timur was visibly amused.

The guys just looked at him blankly, so Timur repeated the rules one more time. He was aware that not all of the contestants were fluent in English and it was his duty as the host to be patient and to make sure all of them understood the rules.

“Hey, last year that was not the rule!” Manel complained after Timur had finished.

“The host has the privilege to choose among a few possible criteria,” Timur explained.

Manel responded with an angry look.

“I guess this means San Marino might finally win in Eurovision today,” Slavko joked. “But my braid is the longest. Look! Slavko has the longest!”

One by one the contestants dropped their pants to determine the winner. First it looked as if Francesco were going to win but Timur surprised the guys by dropping his pants as well. “The host is allowed to take part as well,” Timur smiled. “You didn’t think the baggy crotch of my pants was just a fashion statement, did you?”

“I know people commented on your bulge after the draw,” Alex conceded.

“You have the biggest cannon this year but not the biggest gun,” Timur shrugged and positioned himself in the center of the bukkake arena.

“La scimmia nuda masturba,” Francesco sang to lighten the competitive mood. “Often they say I lookeh likeh Super Mario but I play… come si dice… Sega.”

The guys looked at him puzzled.

“Oh, you don’t understandeh my jokeh? It make more sense in italiano.”

“Cum on guys!” Timur motived the contestants as he came on himself for the first time. It didn’t take long for the others to follow his lead.

After the first hour of the contest had passed, Robin paused. “I can’t go on,” he conceded. “I’m actually more of a bottom. I didn’t include the anus sign in my staging for no reason.”

“It’s okay,” Hovig comforted him breathlessly. “Every top needs a bottom.”

While most guys kept repeating the same movement over and over again, Salvador was the only contestant who liked to improvise. When he pretended to play the trombone and referred to his dick as a tromboner, Sergei from Moldova burst into laughter. “It’s great you bring so much fun to this contest, which tends to be quite serious most of the time.”

“You are not just funny but also incredibly competitive,” Imri acknowledged.

“Of course, I am competitive. The trophy is the only glass fleshlight in the world. Everything else is just plastic.”

“What’s wrong with plastic fleshlights?” the others asked in unison.

“If you don’t like plastic fleshlights, just remember what I’ve said before,” Robin reminded him with a wink.

Salvador improvised the sound of a sad trombone invoking laughter throughout the arena. Robin didn’t join in and stared peevishly at Salvador.

As more time passed, one by one the contestants had to drop out of the competition. Timur was drenched in the cum of thirteen artists and his own. It was a big mess but it was also beautiful. Finally Timur had to rest as well leaving only three guys in the competition: Salvador, Nathan and the hot Croatian background vocalist whose name nobody had bothered to inquire. Eventually that guy gave up as well and it was down to Salvador and Nathan. Nathan was totally hyped and reminded Timur of a Duracell Bunny. Meanwhile Salvador was making funny faces and strange movements while emitting peculiar sounds. The significance of this performance eluded Timur but it seemed to have an effect on Nathan. Slowly Nathan’s eyes began to fill with tears. Nathan was so touched by Salvador’s performance that he couldn’t focus on the competition anymore and his dick started to soften leaving Salvador as the triumphant winner of the Glass Fleshlight.

Timur got up, cum slowly running down his body, lifted the trophy from its stand and handed it to Salvador who proceeded to put it on his head as if it were a hat. “I’m allergic to plastic,” Salvador announced, “and nobody wants to be my boyfriend because I’m annoying. This is a good day for genuine passionate lovemaking. We live in a world of quickies and bad sex because there aren’t enough glass fleshlights for everyone. Thank you.”

“This concludes the Eurovision Bukkake Contest 2017,” Timur declared solemnly. “Next year the contest will take place in Portugal for the first time. Good night, everyone!”

The arena was filled with the sound of sticky hands applauding. There was only one winner tonight as every year (apart from ’69) but it’s the taking part that counts.

# The End


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